Can a Relationship Get Back to Normal If a Partner Cheats

Can a Relationship Get Back to Normal If a Partner Cheats

Well, it depends. Normally, when people cheat, it is because there is something not normal in their relationship. It could be anything. Lack of emotional connection, dull sex life or just no attraction. And at the same time, one cannot deny that often, it happens without meaning to. Marital infidelity occurs about in 4.3% of the married men and 2.3% of the married women. According to some studies, 25% of men and 11% of women at some point in their lives, end up sleeping with someone else. With time, I see the numbers are even higher. Sometimes it is just an unfortunate stroke of bad luck and the cheating party realizes it right away that they have done something wrong and they need to set things right.

People cheat and then it is rare for the relationships to get back to normal. People tend to give a number of excuses when they are caught cheating on their partners with the hope that eventually when their partners are convinced, they would forgive them. I personally think that after cheating, the relationship cannot remain normal. There is the possibility of things getting better but at the same time, they can worsen too. The thing is after a partner has cheated, there is distrust. And this is from both ends. When one has cheated, they also know deep down that they lost the trust the other person had in them and as they are the guilty party, they also begin to get insecure. The cheater also begins to fear that he will reap the fruit of his infidelity and will be cheated on too. Infidelity is a serious issue and even if the couple has decided to work things out and move past this incident, the distrust would rear its ugly head every now and then. For instance, if one has to travel somewhere on his own, the thought would always be there that the cheating partner would avail this opportunity to cheat. Distrust makes it pretty much impossible to trust each other fully again.

If the couple is desperate to work things out for their love or their children, they do work really hard to work through this phase of betrayal and pain. After infidelity, the old marriage has died but that does not mean that there can’t be a new beginning. It is possible. If the couple is able to survive the extramarital affair and heal, then their relationship can become better than before. But it takes time, a lot of hard work along with long, tough one-on-one conversation. The thing that needs to be realized is that people do not want to ruin their marriage and upset a good life. It is not necessary that the couple has a bad marriage when they cheat. Sometimes, a partner is too ashamed or afraid to talk about their sexual preferences or fantasies. Or they might have suggested something that was met with disgust, disbelief or accusation of being a pervert. But suppression of a desire does not really make the desire go away. Usually, it goes to the subconscious and comes out in inappropriate ways and timings.

The most difficult thing to come over after cheating is seeing the couple as the culprit and the victim. If the victim asks the cheating partner to fix things it will not be resolved that easily. It can lead to a number of things. What’s needed is the courage to face the various subtle problems in the relationship that led to infidelity. The betraying partner should be able to talk about it beyond their comfort level. The cheating partner should be able to listen to the pain as long as it is needed in order to lessen the pain and emotional trauma that surrounds infidelity. Both can work together to rebuild trust and renew their relationship. It is important that they talk in a controlled situation like it should not be done in public nor a scene should be made in front of children or the family members.

The betrayer should be completely transparent with their partner. Nothing should be secret. This is needed for the injured party to be able to trust again. Over time, hopefully, it could lead things to get better. It is not a piece of cake and it is time taking too but if the cheating partner is really doing an effort to make things right, eventually the hurting party will be able to trust – again.


Hope this helps!



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